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My Little Pony goes to war

12.15.05 | 4 Comments

I absolutely love how conversatives are trying to shore up support for the Iraq War by accusing detractors of hurting troop morale.  "Our troops are listening," they say, and I for one am learning a thing or two.

For one, previous to now, I had been under the impression that the US military was a crack force of volunteer soldiers, specifically a crack force of volunteer adult soldiers.  However, I can only surmise from the new convervative message that our military is a group of spoiled little rich girls who lose the will to fight if daddy threatens to take away their pony.  Message behind the conservative message? "Our troops are nancy little schoolgirls, so don’t hurt their feelings or we will all die."  (Wow.  Before this I didn’t even know we paid our troops to have feelings!)

I’ve also learned from the new convervative message that Bush I’s Gulf War did not let us leave the legacy of the Vietnam War behind us (as they had previously told us).  Because the fear of troops losing morale because of lack of war ferver at home is a fear founded in Vietnam.   Message behind the conservative message? "The painful legacy of Vietnam is still very much with us today, so much so that we should plan military strategy around it."

Which leads to a third lesson.  Conservatives have been quick to point out that Iraq is not Vietnam.  But, as our second lesson shows, conservatives obviously now believe that Iraq is Vietnam.   Message behind the new conservative message?  "Iraq = Vietnam.  And don’t you forget it."

It’s hard to keep up with all these changes.  So much to learn. 

Action item for conservatives: Send each US troop stationed in the Iraqi theater a Care Bear doll and a box of chocolates expressing support for the war on the US homefront. 

4 Comments


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