I’ve surprised myself by how dedicated a reader of Internet Monk I’ve become of late. That means both of my favorite Christian bloggers—Real Live Preacher being the other—are Southern Baptist ministers. I told you I’m surprised.

Yesterday, iMonk posted what reads to me like a defense of the Christian doctrine of universalism. It’s brilliant, and any UU should give it a read. UUs who don’t use god-talk might not find it as engaging as I do, but it’s a good reminder that universalism has strong Biblical support, even if most other Southern Baptist ministers would tell you otherwise.

iMonk always gets good comments, and the discussion quickly turns to sin. Sin, some of his readers would have it, is a real problem for God. He’s quite hung up on it, it turns out. Can’t see past it, even. So much so that he has to be tricked into forgiving humanity, on a case by case basis, by torturing and killing his Son instead of us.

A god hindered by sin is an unusual character. Mythology is engaging and entertaining precisely because the gods are hindered—by each other and by us—but it is usually because of some specific god or some specific person, and because of some specific actions taken, not because of a general case like all-sin-everywhere.

Their God is a superhero with a fatal weakness. It is as though Superman has added omni-benevolence to his super powers and now has the power to grant everyone eternal life in Heaven. But in an unfortunate turn of events Sin has replaced Kryptonite as his one weakness.

He writhes under the effect of Sin, unable to use his new power of omni-benevolence in the presence of a sinner. The only thing that can set things right is for him to set up Superboy—disguised as a non-superhero—to be tortured and killed on our behalf so that, now, whenever the use of his omni-benevolence is restricted by Sin, Superman can rub the blood of Superboy on sinners and make it all better. (Superboy blood is magic! Tell your family and friends!) Superboy blood is made available planet-wide so that people can douse themselves in it and thereby unhinder Superman in his quest to embody truth, justice, and the American way.

I don’t get Calvinism or substitutionary atonement theory. Their devotees don’t realize how hindered a God they worship. For being all-sovereign, he certainly can’t get much god stuff done without a lot of torture and tears and blood.