You heard it here first. Your pal Chutney is now hawking his services as a professional "freelance monotheist" to anyone with the moolah. If you need someone to perform god stuff, Chutney is your man. For an appropriate fee, he will freely spread his legs to the deity of your choice. He will be your dirty dirty preacher whore for Sweet Baby Jesus.

Who says you can’t make a living as a recovering seminarian?