From Gen. J.C. Christian, Patriot: “We finally found Saddam. Sure, it took an invasion, nine months of military operations, thousands of lives, and 130,000 troops to do it, but we finally captured him. It’s a great day for America. I’d cry if I wasn’t so manly.

“Now, it’s time for the next step. We need to invade ourselves. Only then, will we nab the anthrax terrorist.”