I was grateful to see Meg Barnhouse’s article in UUWorld this morning. I’ve been sitting on an angry blog post for several days now, and she has said many things about the Knoxville shotting that I wanted to say, but far more gracefully.
Addkison meant to kill UUs. He knows who we are and what we stand for. And that’s why he set out to kill us.
Whatever advantages and disadvantages he started with, he participated with his sovereign free will in making himself what he is today. I think this is more respectful of him and his inherent worth than to imply that he couldn’t help what he did, that he was on some kind of predestined track to disaster.
It’s not yet time to forgive. It’s still time to be outraged. And not in the bullshit way we get outraged via our bumper stickers.
Outraged at whom?
We at Westside are too busy licking our wounds to concern ourselves with the shooter. No one here is expressing outrage or forgiveness. If or when we reach a state of forgiveness, it will be about us rather than about him.
Personally, I fear that Adkisson will plead guilty and thus go directly to prison without a trial. That would leave many questions unanswered. I would like to know how much influence right-wing “news” analysts, commentators, etc., had on Adkisson. It’s an issue that should be addressed by the news media.
@CC: Outraged at Addkison.
@Nathan: I know it’s considered bad form to say this, but I understand. I remember well the weeks after the Oklahoma City bombing and everything we went through. When McVeigh was executed, I was surprised to find myself disappointed because I would never get the chance to see what perspective a future McVeigh might reach, what repentance he might seek. I wanted some way to make amends, and his death ended that.
I should say that I don’t presume to tell the Knoxville communities how to feel. My point is to the larger movement.
OK, so be outraged at him. He killed two people. He deserves it. I don’t see anybody stopping you.
At the same time, I personally don’t see how being outraged at a guy who is likely to spend the rest of his life in prison does any good for us emotionally or for the larger movement.
What does time in prison have to do with it?
Why wouldn’t we as a movement be outraged? He broke into one of our homes to kill us because of what we stand for. Are religious liberals too evolved to feel holy wrath?
Forgiveness that doesn’t take time to sit with anger and rage is bullshit forgiveness. At times it seems the movement wants to leap over that unpleasantness to trying to understanding Addkison. My experience and my theology tell me that leaping over anger and rage at an act so blatantly evil will come to no good.
There came a time to try to understand McVeigh. But it was a matter of months, years for others. Everyone I know who leaped past rage either had some tough make up work to do later or wasn’t there and didn’t get it.
We may be talking past each other. I don’t deny that rage is a part of the process, but I’ve found that focusing on rage never really takes me anywhere.
Praying for someone doesn’t mean forgiving them, and I don’t feel that forgiveness is really mine to give. In truth, to me the whole thing doesn’t feel personal. Now to Meg Barnhouse, who knew him, I get that it feels personal.
Can there be a midpoint between rage and forgiveness, where we don’t really forgive him personally, but where the whole thing just feels like some sort of natural disaster and dealing with the victims and trying to reinforce our levees just seems more crucial than raging against the storm?
That’s where I am.
All that said, everyone deals with these things differently, and I don’t see what good can come of declaring other people’s forgiveness “bullshit forgiveness” because they are dealing with these things differently than you are.
CC