NEWS FLASH: DICK CHENEY’S DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN.
Am I bad too now?
Divulging state secrets
10.18.04 | Permalink | Comments Off on Divulging state secrets
How old are you? And you wear a bow tie??
10.16.04 | Permalink | 11 Comments
If you haven’t heard yet, Jon Stewart went onto Crossfire and kicked Tucker Carlson’s ass up and down the court for being a fakety-fake news man. The difference between them then, according to Jon? Jon openly admits he’s a fake newsguy, Tucker insists he’s not.
I’ll give Jon Stewart a dollar if he’ll wear a bow tie for the next week on the show. If Tucker has any class at all, he’ll drop the thing entirely, but I’m guessing he’s going to bitch and whine a bit. (Nothing like a conservative playing the victim.)
Watch the exchange for yourself. And you can get Jon’s new book here—I highly recommend it.
UPDATE: More people have downloaded Jon’s bitchslapping of Tucker than normally watch Crossfire.
If we don’t know what a cat painting is all about, how can we give it a title?
My cat bit my lip this week to wake me up because he decided it was meal time (and hour early, I might add). Little bastard. But it turns out that my little buddy boy might not need to be taken behind the woodshed after all—he might just need an opportunity to artistically express himself. So just how can I encourage my cat to paint? (Hat tip to Cabinet.)
Educated black guns make soup
10.13.04 | Permalink | Comments Off on Educated black guns make soup
From Wonkette, my favorite sexy internet smart ass:
“No child left behind is really a jobs act,” says Bush. Of course. And Social Security is really a missile defense program. And Federal Highways funding? Actually a part of the Metric Conversion Office. And clean coal legislation helps you make soup.
[snip]
Q: Is homosexuality a choice? A: I am not a gay.
[snip]
BREAKING: Bush likes black people just fine. Also, education is good. And, wait: EDUCATION FOR BLACK PEOPLE. . . is okay, too. Unless they have guns. Educated guns are bad.
Holy ghost hilarity
It has been brought to my attention by the voices inside my head* that making fun of holy ghost is the only unforgivable sin. The voices inside my head then proceeded to point out that I may have done just that in my last post.
Apparently, the voices inside my head are still attending YouthAmerica summer camp at Oral Roberts University. Grow up, voices in my head!
As a good univeralist, however, I’m not very disturbed. So in the good taste you’ve come to expect from MyIrony, I offer the following joke starters for you to complete at your leisure. Please share your answers in the comments section. [But note: if you complete them, you’ll go straight to hell. Or even laugh. Holy ghost is pissy like that.] Click to continue reading “Holy ghost hilarity”
That’s Rev. Chutney to you, bub
10.13.04 | Permalink | 2 Comments
Say it isn’t so! Ah, but I’m afraid it is. Yours truly is now legally ordained to perform baptisms, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and animal sacrifices at a house of worship near you.
How can this be? I’ve avoided—by the skin of my teeth in some cases—ordination by the United Methodists and the Assemblies of God. And even still some try to talk me into Unitarian Universalist ordination. But, no, they have all failed, until now.
Until, that is, I found Universal Ministries. And who are they? Remember Chris from Northern Exposure, how he was ordained through an ad in the back of Rolling Stone magazine? Yup, those folks. Or close enough, anyways. Why these folks? And why now? My sister-in-law is getting hitched. She’d like me to do the ceremony. And she’s set in her decision that it be “legal.”
Yet as it stands, dear readers, I am in urgent need of your help. (Okay, not that urgent, but I feel the holy ghost upon me.) I need you to help me pick out an appropriate ministerial title (poll on your left). You see, for only ten additional dollars, I can choose a specific title as part of the “basic ministerial package.” Why go with “minister” or “reverend” when you can get something with a little more holy ghost pizazz?
So you can see the poll to your left. I picked several I have partial to, although I have to say I’m a little disheartened I couldn’t choose “Apostle” or “Bishop.” That pretty much cuts out working churches that give folding money. Guess I’ll just have to send that offering plate around another time.
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