After further reflection (and more beer) I have realized that I have beat Robyn and sA on, not one, but two counts.
One: Fearing hellfire and damnation (and feeling a bit destructive—and handy), I backmasked Def Leppard’s Hysteria myself. Just to check. (No red lights, sorry.)
Two: For my eighth grade Honors Biology science fair project I secured two jars of fruit flies. One jar listened to a loop of Def Leppard’s Hysteria, the other to Stryper’s To Hell With the Devil. (On alternating days because I only had one walkman.) Before the end of week two all of them died, perhaps because I didn’t know how to take care of them, or perhaps because my mother made me keep them in the garage in winter. I made up some numbers showing that the Def Leppard fruit flies had produced more because they were listening to music about, um, peaches and cream and stuff. Natch. Because my teacher graduated from Southern Nazarene University, I passed with that little ideological-fiasco-cum-cutting-board-poster.
C’mon, Steve, kick it. Click to continue reading “Update Alert Bonus Edition: Rocket baby”
And I want. And I need. And I love. Animal.
When you make love, do you look in the mirror? Who do you think of? Does he look like me?
(I am so, so ashamed.)
You got the peaches. I got the cream. Do you take the sugar? One lump or two?
Ooh ooh ooh. Woah.
4Rejoice in the Market always. Again I will say, rejoice! 5Let your ambition be known to all men. The Market is at hand. 6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your desires be made known to Market; 7and the peace of Market, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Isn’t it offensive that health care is a market commodity? (Like, you know, string cheese, a bass boat, or an iPod.)
"But doctors have to make money!"
Yes, they certainly do, and the market-based health care system we currently have is the only available way to make sure that happens. Why, in the socialized health care systems of all the other overdeveloped nations of the world, doctors have to wander the streets with begging bowls and resort to cooperative living situations in yurts made out of monkey dung and dead hobos. Click to continue reading “But they have to make money!”
1 Why do You stand afar off, O Market?
Why do You hide in times of trouble?
2The poor in his pride persecutes the rich;
Let them be caught in the plots which they have devised. Click to continue reading “Psalm 10 (New Commodified Version)”
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most Wealthy
will rest in the shadow of the Prosperity.
2 I will say of the Market, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my god, in whom I trust." Click to continue reading “Psalm 91 (New Commodified Version)”
