Hi, Chance,
I saw the whole process as a winnowing, a cauterizing, a continual “are you sure?” kind of thing. I had a lot of encouragement from laypeople and ministers alike as I began the credentialing process. I never had any doubts about my call and so I tended to view every step as one more thing completed, sort of like crossing off items on my to-do list. Once CPE was done, I looked back, thought, “well, look how I’ve changed/grown/failed/regrown because of that very tense 10 weeks”. Barged into my second year of seminary even more sure of my call. Arranged an internship that worked well for me and gave my formation process a quantum leap. Went back for my final year in seminary realizing that I really was going to be able to do this, it wasn’t just a pipe dream.
By then I had gotten my ears pinned back by the MFC which told me I needed to deal with my intensity (who, me?) and required me to see a spiritual director for a year before I could qualify for preliminary fellowship. I needed that comeuppance, because, boy, was I full of myself (and may still be, though I manage to tame it most of the time).
Yep, I’m grateful for it all. I needed to learn a lot about myself and about what it means to be a minister. Much of it I learned because of the credentialing process. Seminary was fun. Qualifying for Final Fellowship was hard personal work and I’m glad I did it.
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