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“He’s wearing a tie to church.”
We certainly do need to do more to make newcomers feel welcome. I think part of my reluctance to approach UU visitors is that UUs tend to be such individualists. Some don’t want to be immediately confronted and want to kind of chill out and soak in the environment first. Still, we do need to at least make an attempt to welcome visitors.
My first visit to the UU church in Birmingham was pretty cold. My first visit to the UU church in Atlanta was not as cold but I was still kind of given a hmph reception.
Nice to know that UUs everywhere are the same. I just wish we could get away from feeling as though people have got to “prove their worthiness” to us before we’ll give them the time of day. That comes from insecurity and anxiety though and most UUs I know are highly intelligent and neurotic as all hell.
]]>I was in the Bay Area in August and visited the San Francisco Unitarian Church. I arrived several minutes late so there was no opportunity to meet any members prior to the start of the service but I can again say with authority that virtually no one bothered to welcome me as a newcomer. I lingered in the sanctuary following the service and no one greeted me. I then ventured out into the hall/lobby where San Francisco U*Us not only did not greet me but even avoided responding to me when I said hello to them. Some avoided eye contact and brusquely brushed past me without so much as a nod. No, I am quite certain that they did not know that I was the dreaded Robin Edgar aka The Emerson Avenger. This was just the typical “welcome” that ANY newcomer could expect in this U*U “Welcoming Congregation”.
One San Francisco U*U in the hallway did make a point of greeting me however it was immediately apparent that he was only doing his “job” which was to keep an eye out for any newcomers and make a point of greeting them and solicit them to join the church. He had pamphlets about church membership at hand and, when I asked him what the requirements for membership in the First Unitarian Universalist Society of San Francisco were, he showed me where it said that all that one had to do was –
1: meet with the minister
2: make an unspecified financial contribution to the church
and last and probably least. . .
3: sign the membership book
Presumably this San Francisco U*Us “job” was primarily to solicit new memberships however it had the side-effect of allowing everyone else there to studiously ignore and even on occasion brusquely shun any newcomers to their “Welcoming Congregation”.
I finally was able to strike up conversation with one or two church members but only as a result of taking the bull by the horns and introducing myself to them. Interestingly enough two or three church goers did later come up and say hello and ask me who I was but, most ironically. . . in the course of my pleasant and even quite long conversations with them it turned out that the very few church goers who had made an effort to greet me were not actually members of the First Unitarian Universalist Society of San Francisco. . .
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