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	Comments on: Fie on forgiveness	</title>
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	<description>One part facial hair.  Two parts moxy.</description>
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		<title>
		By: makingchutney.com &#187; Top ten posts of 2005		</title>
		<link>http://www.makingchutney.com/2005/10/15/fie-on-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-2874</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[makingchutney.com &#187; Top ten posts of 2005]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Dec 2005 20:16:52 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[[...] 9) Fie on forgiveness.&#160; I am a recovery fundamentalist, and I adore my bitterness about it.&#160; Too bad it isn&#8217;t working for me anymore. &#160;&#160; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[&#8230;] 9) Fie on forgiveness.&nbsp; I am a recovery fundamentalist, and I adore my bitterness about it.&nbsp; Too bad it isn&#8217;t working for me anymore. &nbsp;&nbsp; [&#8230;]</p>
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		<item>
		<title>
		By: Clyde Grubbs		</title>
		<link>http://www.makingchutney.com/2005/10/15/fie-on-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-2680</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Clyde Grubbs]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Oct 2005 17:05:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.makingchutney.com/?p=684#comment-2680</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I have been amazed at what I have learned from those whom I was &quot;leading&quot; in discussion.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have been amazed at what I have learned from those whom I was &#8220;leading&#8221; in discussion.</p>
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		<title>
		By: cindy		</title>
		<link>http://www.makingchutney.com/2005/10/15/fie-on-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-2679</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[cindy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Oct 2005 09:16:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.makingchutney.com/?p=684#comment-2679</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Thank you for these words.  I find myself pondering.

Forgiveness is such a hard thing.  It&#039;s especially fraught, I believe, for those of us who were fundamentalist, and now are free.  There are so many things for me to forgive...
~The preacher who preached at a funeral that a mother died unhappy and miserable because her daughter Julie was an unrepentant lesbian.
~A shepherd who beat his wife and children to get them to obey him as he obeyed Christ.
~The preacher who called my friend A. out in front of the congregation and demanded that she confess her sin of lesbianism, forcing her, at age 16, to choose to remain or go.

~Or the simpler things -- the ping pong table in the basement the youth group wasn&#039;t allowed to use because we met on Sundays.

Yet, for me, and perhaps not for you, I cannot forget that my fundamentalism saved my life.  Becoming fundamentally and absolutely assured that Jesus loved me no matter what, (sickness, abuse, mental illness, family dysfunction, really crappy neighbors), and that suicide was not and could not be, an option, saved my life.  

What do I forgive?  Who do I forgive?  I forgive my old alcoholic minister who went from an addiction to alcohol and violence  to an addiction to literalism, Jesus and violence  because he was never given an opportunity to get properly sober. But it&#039;s probably not for me to forgive him, but his wife and children.

 I still can&#039;t forgive the preacher who excoriated Julie from the pulpit.  Last I knew, she&#039;s an upstanding member of her church, having returned to the fold. I hope, but don&#039;t really believe, that she&#039;s happy.

I can&#039;t forgive the preacher who named a 16 year old a homosexual temptress in public just because she was in love with her best friend.  

I can&#039;t forgive the system of Christian Fundamentalism that had such a grip on my missionary friend  that she got married to a man 2/3 her age, and had 6 kids who she homeschools.  I wonder if she still has an eating disorder, I wonder if she still runs until she collapses, I wonder if she&#039;s happy.

But again, the bottom line, for me, is that i don&#039;t need to forgive myself for being in the situation in the first place.  Fundamentalism saved my life.

Of course, 8 years later it nearly took it again...
Well, lovely thoughts for a Sunday morning.  Thanks]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you for these words.  I find myself pondering.</p>
<p>Forgiveness is such a hard thing.  It&#8217;s especially fraught, I believe, for those of us who were fundamentalist, and now are free.  There are so many things for me to forgive&#8230;<br />
~The preacher who preached at a funeral that a mother died unhappy and miserable because her daughter Julie was an unrepentant lesbian.<br />
~A shepherd who beat his wife and children to get them to obey him as he obeyed Christ.<br />
~The preacher who called my friend A. out in front of the congregation and demanded that she confess her sin of lesbianism, forcing her, at age 16, to choose to remain or go.</p>
<p>~Or the simpler things &#8212; the ping pong table in the basement the youth group wasn&#8217;t allowed to use because we met on Sundays.</p>
<p>Yet, for me, and perhaps not for you, I cannot forget that my fundamentalism saved my life.  Becoming fundamentally and absolutely assured that Jesus loved me no matter what, (sickness, abuse, mental illness, family dysfunction, really crappy neighbors), and that suicide was not and could not be, an option, saved my life.  </p>
<p>What do I forgive?  Who do I forgive?  I forgive my old alcoholic minister who went from an addiction to alcohol and violence  to an addiction to literalism, Jesus and violence  because he was never given an opportunity to get properly sober. But it&#8217;s probably not for me to forgive him, but his wife and children.</p>
<p> I still can&#8217;t forgive the preacher who excoriated Julie from the pulpit.  Last I knew, she&#8217;s an upstanding member of her church, having returned to the fold. I hope, but don&#8217;t really believe, that she&#8217;s happy.</p>
<p>I can&#8217;t forgive the preacher who named a 16 year old a homosexual temptress in public just because she was in love with her best friend.  </p>
<p>I can&#8217;t forgive the system of Christian Fundamentalism that had such a grip on my missionary friend  that she got married to a man 2/3 her age, and had 6 kids who she homeschools.  I wonder if she still has an eating disorder, I wonder if she still runs until she collapses, I wonder if she&#8217;s happy.</p>
<p>But again, the bottom line, for me, is that i don&#8217;t need to forgive myself for being in the situation in the first place.  Fundamentalism saved my life.</p>
<p>Of course, 8 years later it nearly took it again&#8230;<br />
Well, lovely thoughts for a Sunday morning.  Thanks</p>
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